Kardashian Mudslinging and Gay Marriage

I have to say, I’m really sort of sick to death of the statements going around waving Kim Kardashian’s name and face at us regarding…well, anything. But most recently, regarding why gay marriage should be legal. Actually, I was sick of it the first time I read it somewhere.

And this is absolutely not because I don’t support legalizing gay marriage 110%. And if you in any way question this, please refer to the article I wrote previously: http://gomersasquatch.wordpress.com/2010/01/26/proposition-8-protects-people-from-marrying-unicorns/ .

Furthermore, I agree that the sanctity of marriage has been compromised since probably its inception, and that upstanding right-wing politicians who yell the loudest about it often have several failed marriages under their belts, at least. Or extramarital affairs. Or hookers. Or extramarital hooker affairs involving belts. And often with a touch of gay scandal to finish it on up. And I can see how drawing attention to their hypocrisy only strengthens our pro-gay marriage arguments. The people advocating hardest for a sacred union often have a completely unfounded argument when it comes to the way they live their own lives. Let us silence them one by one by holding them up to the mirror. This is a valid argument, and it gains media attention, and helps the cause. It is an honest argument tactic to point out that not even the person arguing can live up to their own standards.

However.

Who the hell gives a good goddamn about Kim Kardashian’s failed marriage? So she got married in a highly public fashion—some have argued entirely for this publicity to promote her television show. Maybe. Not knowing much about her, I can still say it seems very plausible. Sooooo, that would put her in league with Gene Simmons this last season of his show. Fine. Then Kardashian filed for divorce some 70something days later. Sure. Okay. This seems on par for a celebrity marriage.  

And then—oh goodness—everyone just goes apeshit. Normal people who are otherwise good-natured people are standing in (a metaphorical Facebook) line to throw the fact that Kardashian couldn’t maintain a successful marriage back at her. Ha ha! One for gay marriage! …wait. What did we win here?

Now, let’s separate out the people who went apeshit because they’re actually interested in her life. Because, dear god, why even try to reason with them? You people—you go over to Perez. I’m sure he has something for you.

The remaining people—those whose Schadenfreude leapt from their hearts directly into their wagging fingers at the first chance to go, “AHA! Straight people sometimes get divorced hastily! Why can’t we get married?” those are the people to whom I refer.

I guess I just don’t understand the sentiment. Let’s step through it. Okay—I can totally see it if she was ever actively for the idea of the “sanctity of marriage” or was in any way against gay marriage. From what I can find (and if I’m wrong, please point it out; I don’t follow the woman’s “career”), she has never said anything against gay marriage to begin with. In fact, I painfully sat through this video of her stating that she is, in fact, for gay marriage. Nothing political about this video, really. She’s asked a question and seems to summon up a fairly neutral, if not slightly airy answer. But the point is, the only thing I could find linking her to speaking out about gay marriage is actually a statement supporting gay marriage. And if she has ever been against it, let me be the one to cast the first stone, now that her steroid-injected, diamond encrusted schmaltz package she called a marriage has finally been put out of its misery. But considering I can’t find anything of the sort on her…why is her failed marriage pivotal? In her being unrelated to politics or sanctity of marriage issues, it seems…I don’t know…mean spirited.

Seriously, people in Hollywood get divorced all the time. Well, for that matter, so do normal straight people. And if allowed the right to marry, so (probably) will gay people. I realize this is an unpopular thought for both camps, but it’s just the truth. Divorce is a right we are afforded when love turns cold, or expectations aren’t met, or someone is unfaithful, or cruel, or sneaking off to have relations with your livestock, or what have you. It seems to me, by offering Kim as a sacrificial lamb on the altar of marriage sanctity, you are either saying, “Look, her marriage was a sham, so clearly marriage isn’t a serious institution,” which totally undercuts the message that gay marriage is in fact a serious institution. Or even that Kardashian’s marriage proves marriage isn’t sacred or holy, when it actually still is to many gay or lesbian couples as well.

Or otherwise, it’s saying, “If I—an honest, loving person who has been in a committed relationship with the same person can’t get married, why should someone like her be able to get married?” And is that really a comparison you’d like to make? Is that a fair light in which to cast yourself? Making the comparison that this annoying, plastic socialite can get married and divorced; why can’t I? I mean, I understand the sentiment—trust me, I do. But that’s just not the comparison I’d personally want to use. It cuts at marriage as a whole, almost suggesting the argument that Kardashian shouldn’t have been able to get married if everyone else can’t get married because she’s such a poor model of marriage. That committed gay couples have more right to get married than people like Kardashian who don’t take marriage seriously.

And that’s backward. My problem with this issue is that nothing about it states, “We all have the right to marriage because we are all equal and deserve equal rights protected to us and our would-be spouses/families.” The point of the gay marriage argument is that everyone deserves that right—committed gay and lesbian couples, committed straight couples, and unfortunately, people who do it for money or reputation. Everyone. We’re all people and we all should get to choose how, when, and why we marry (within obvious reason).

And I feel like people are forgetting this in the ephemeral media haze right now. Instead, what’s been going on in reaction looks to me like impotent, useless mudslinging at someone who is just going through a divorce. And whether or not this divorce is painful for Kardashian, it still lacks tact.

Secondly, I’m quite dumbfounded that this woman is the one that everyone has been so ready to jump on. Um, can someone please explain to me, why should Kim Kardashian be the model of the sanctity of marriage to begin with? Why anyone who needs to have their mind changed about gay marriage would have assumed her marriage would have been meant to last? Were we all expecting that this marriage was going to be successful? Were we even really caring?

I realize some of you care, and you can go read someone else’s blog. Because that’s just silliness. She’s a non-celebrity celebrity. Call me old fashion, but in my day, you had to possess some sort of talent to be…you know what? Sorry. Tangent. I get worked up.

But who was really thinking she would be a great person to make an example of? No one was surprised that this arrangement didn’t work out (possibly least of all Kardashian’s publicist), so why is everyone all, “Look! Look at your straight marriage, everyone! It fails too!” It’s petty, it’s redundant, it’s a poor tactic, and I feel like it takes away from the serious, ardent message of people who want and deserve the right to marry the person of their choosing, man or woman. Or anything in between genders. I don’t know. That’s just my opinion.